The National Eating Disorders Associationkicked off its awareness week on 2/24 building on their campaign of “Come As You Are.” This theme was first presented in 2019 as a call to all individuals experiencing issues with body acceptance and disordered eating, regardless of their background, to tell their story and be heard. This year’s campaign calls for people to reflect on the positive steps they’ve taken toward accepting themselves and others, including those born of set backs and falling off course.
Even though I have been in “full remission” from Anorexia Nervosa for 8 years now, there have been days and weeks where I catch myself thinking and behaving with the logic of my past disordered past self. These moments are usually triggered by stress. Knowing that stress has the power to conjure up ghosts of Julia’s past, I decided to create a contingency plan to make sure I stay healthy in both my body and mind.
One of the major positive steps I’ve taken this year has been to meal prep.
My “cooking for one” game has been sad. I held this belief that cooking was best saved for when I had company or other people to cook for. Subsequently, I would either stretch the same food out for days or would eat an assortment of “snacks” between clients and commutes. A couple of months ago while at work on a very hectic day I caught myself thinking “you don’t get to eat today.” That automatic thought freaked me out because I haven’t thought that way in over 15 years. It was mean, punishing, absolute, and not at all reflective of the present me in the room. Combined with the lethargy, irritable mood, and GI issues I was experiencing (perhaps a combo of stress, the environment, and my eating habits) I had to take action.
RSVP for One
I decided to reframe “cooking for one” as treating myself as my own dinner guest. I started my action plan by making a grocery list of pantry items to create more meal options. I also researched recipes that weren’t time consuming to ensure that I could work meal prepping around my work schedule. I chose which days of the week I could cook – Sunday nights after work and Thursday mornings. I kept a note in my iPhone where I would jot down ideas of what to cook on my commutes to and from work. This helped me to appreciate and get excited about the process of planning my meals. I have been able to stick to this plan because I made it an enjoyable process. The second I start feeling like I haveto do it means the plan needs to be modified.
People can still experience distorted body image and eating habits even if they aren’t diagnosed with an eating disorder. Developing a healthy relationship with yourself and with food can be a life long process, but trust that it’s possible. Help exists in the form of counselors, therapists, nutritionists, holistic health professionals (love you, Dr. Huang) to name a few who can guide you toward a positive body-mind connection from thought to table.
In the Fall of 2009, I started my program in Massage Therapy at The Swedish Institute. Along with foundational coursework like Anatomy & Physiology, I was given an education in Eastern medicine. In my introductory class, we discussed the 5 Element theory to diagnosing and treating imbalances in the body. It broke down the acupressure point meridians and the paired organs that represented diagnostic elements. Dysfunction in these paired organs manifested physically and emotionally in the body. Treatments included bodywork, acupuncture, herbs and nutrition. There were foods to avoid and foods to promote the function of these pairs depending on the diagnosis given. Each element itself was associated with certain tastes and manners of eating.
My mind was officially blown!
Food as a healing prescription instead of an anxiety inducing activity resonated with me. I wasn’t at the point yet where I even liked to eat. All I knew was that I had to eat.
Maybe those cravings for lamb burgers were more than just cravings!
I soon learned that eating disorders like my Anorexia stemmed from imbalances in the paired organ relationship of Stomach and Spleen. Makes sense, right? Food goes into the Stomach and then is transformed and assimilated as energy or Qi that gets stored in the Spleen. Depleting my body of nutrients meant I had very little stored energy. People with Stomach and Spleen deficiencies experience a loss of appetite, digestive issues, difficulty putting on muscle, general weakness and lack of tone in their limbs, metabolic imbalances and irregular menstrual cycles. The emotional/spiritual manifestation of their imbalance is anxiety, worry, excessive thinking, pensiveness, obsessiveness, remorse, regret, obsessions, and self-doubt.
Pretty much summed me up.
I bought and borrowed every book I could find on TCM (i.e. Traditional Chinese Medicine) and Eastern theory. One of my class exercises was to create a 3 Day menu for an element of our choice. You know which one I chose. I ended up implementing this menu in my own life. In the first few months of 2010, I started to see muscle definition and an increase in my strength. My program was a mostly strength based workout with my trainer 2x per week and 2 days of some kind of cardio endurance training on my own.
But by March, I found myself overcome with a strange new craving after my cardio workouts and it scared the crap out of me.
Even though it was scary, this powerful urge for sweet made a lot of sense. Metabolically, I was depleting my energy reserves with the duration of my cardio activities. It was my brain telling my body you need the quickest form of energy available or you’ll crash. This energy is glucose. We derive glucose from consuming carbohydrates. The sugars in carbs are broken down to synthesize glucose which goes directly into the blood stream, also known as our “blood sugar.” From these same carbs, we also manufacture glycogen, a more complex sugar which is stored in our muscles and the liver. When blood sugar is depleted, a chemical messenger gets released that signals the glycogen stores to be broken down to glucose, which then gets sent into the blood stream to replenish our levels.
My, then, boyfriend was all too happy to entertain this new craving and together we indulged it. Maybe I felt safer to consume sweets in his presence because it took the edge off of the guilt I felt. Sugar in any form was something I avoided and restricted. It caused me to have anxiety and made me moody. My periods were more painful. And the worst result of all was an increase in my body fat percentage by the year’s end because I wasn’t careful with my portions.
This habit could not continue.
I clearly had to change the way I was working out on my own and what I was consuming afterward. I didn’t want all my hard work to be for nought.
The science of snacking, post workout
I looked into the chapters on nutrition in a few different Exercise Science textbooks. Many of them spoke about consuming a high glycemic index carb within a half hour to an hour of endurance workouts in order to replenish blood sugar levels and prevent the muscles from being targeted for glycogen breakdown. Muscles need that energy to repair themselves, not to keep you from fainting after your workout. Also recommended for muscle repair and recovery was a protein, preferably from the 8 essential aminos family and especially high lucein in nature, along with a source of Omega 3 fatty acid. The above macro-nutrients were recommended to be eaten within 90 mins post workout. If I could create a snack that encompassed all the macros I needed, I would not only be doing my body good, but would also be shutting the sugar cravings down for good.
I discovered High Intensity Interval Training or HIIT while watching a documentary on obesity in the UK in 2011. I learned that 20 minutes of intense activity done in short intervals using 90% of my max energy level with even shorter rests in between accomplished more than any of my 90 min cardio benders.
This was a more efficient way of getting my cardio in no matter what my schedule was like. I started with beginner level intervals and within a year, made it to more advanced routines. I already had a good cardio base to work with and I was careful not to do movements where I felt my form was anything short of perfect.
MAJOR NOTE: HIIT is something to work up to. You cannot go from a sedentary lifestyle right into this kind of exercise. You need a strong cardio vascular system and a keen understanding of form before going “balls to the wall” – seek out a trainer that can get you there!
It may have taken almost 7 years, but I had finally found the fitness formula that worked best for me – a combination of strength training and HIIT along with proper nutrition to support my activity levels.
And an amazing thing happened. I started to like eating.
My Macro Go To’s
I make my own post workout snacks on the days where I was not running to work after training. I’m not anal about measuring out the exact proportions of high glycemic carb, protein and fat, but I more or less estimate a portion size that my body responds well to (i.e. no cramping, stitches or bloating after eating)
One of my favorite post workout snacks is a cup of full fat Greek yogurt, with 3 Medjool dates, a tsp of Greek honey and 2 tsps of tahini.
I also created a shake recipe that tastes a lot like lemon cake batter. I blend 1 cup of Kefir (a fermented milk drink similar to yogurt that is a great source of probiotic strains for your GI), 1 frozen banana, 10 blueberries, 1 tsp almond butter and 2 tsps ProOmega D-Xtra liquid from Nordic Naturals (a great source of Omega 3 fatty acid).
Lastly, when I’m in need of a snack on the go between clients, I prefer the Go Macro macro-nutrient bar along with some kind of fruit. My favorite combo to date is the cashew butter macrobar “sweet rejuvenation” (pictured below) with a medium sized ripe apricot.
Redefining my relationship with food was one of the hardest challenges I overcame in my recovery from Anorexia. It’s been a decade plus journey with plenty of weak moments and falling off of the wagon. In an effort to hold myself accountable and practice what I preach, to both my clients and loved ones, I’d like to tell you a bit about the role nutrition played in getting me to where I am today.
The Miseducation of Julia Fragias…
The body is a wonderfully efficient machine.
Starve and abuse it, but in a continuous loop of feedback mechanisms, the brain catches wind of what you’re doing and tweaks every cell in the body to maintain your existence. When I started to eat again, my brain clearly didn’t trust me. It adjusted my metabolism to a lower rate in order to make sure the calories I put into my body wouldn’t disappear.
It took a while to earn that trust back.
The image you see above from 2007 is a softer, fuller girl almost 2 years into recovery from Anorexia. I didn’t know how to exercise properly. I didn’t know how to likefood, much less understand now-common concepts like macronutrients. I was instructed by my then counselor not to restrict food and was assured my metabolism would normalize. Eventually.
But, of course, I was still afraid to eat.
I categorized foods into “safe” and “off limits.” How did I decide what made them safe? They were low in fat or fat free. Vegetables or fruit were safe, as long as they didn’t bloat me. Liquids were safer than solids. It also helped if they were low in calories per serving. I ate my “safe foods” repetitively and copiously.
My criteria for safe were so far off the mark that they actually contributed to my rapid weight gain. As my body continued to expand, I had to fight the urge to restrict my eating. I wanted someone to give me a magic menu or list of foods that I could eat without anxiety.
I wanted safety, but I needed education.
Through therapy, I was getting served a whole lot of how to eat through mindfulness, which was helpful – chew your food well, eat slowly, savor the flavors, be grateful for the nourishment – but nobody was telling me what to eat.
How could I begin to structure balanced meals that would fuel my body efficiently?
Count your macros…
My self education was to obsessively watch fitness channels on Youtube. This was when I first came across the term macronutrient. The body builders and fitness professionals I was taking notes from all shared the same advice – count your macros. It’s a catchy word, especially when repeated like a mantra, but what exactly are they?
Carbohydrates, Proteins and Fats: compounds we derive the most energy from and that make up the bulk of our diets as humans. Our cells need these nutrients to grow and develop properly.
Finally, I had something specific to focus on. I concentrated on the ratios of these compounds that the fitness community recommended were optimal for fitness and good health. I constructed a daily diet that consisted of ready made and home made protein powder based shakes, protein bars, bags of nuts, bananas for my pre-workout, and cans of water packed tuna for dinner.
Finally, I had a new “safe” list!
Problem was, it was even more restricted than my previous one.
My workouts were cardio endurance based only and lasted between 60 and 90 minutes to the point of utter exhaustion. There are a number of reasons why this is not the fitness route you want to go down, but I will get into that in my next post. I dropped about ten pounds, but I was constipated, had started to develop eczema patches all over my body and odd outbreaks of hives, had terrible insomnia and brain fog. As if that weren’t all bad enough, I put on virtually no muscle tone.
At the end of 2007, my annual blood test indicated I was deficient in many vitamins and borderline anemic. Essentially, I was malnourished. My doctor didn’t help matters either by telling me I needed to lose a few pounds. He came to this conclusion based on a chart of height and weight ranges of which I was at the high end of normal. FYI – this chart also said I was a normal weight when I had full blown anorexia. Scary, truly.
I left the doctor’s office terrified.
I abandoned my diet and let my body’s cravings guide my food choices. This was recommended by a therapist who believed the body intuitively knows what it needs. She was also trying to prevent my patterns of restriction and categorizing food. I remember meeting up with an old friend, who had struggled with childhood obesity and was now super fit. I asked him how he learned to eat properly. He laughed at me and said, “Julia. NO ONE eats properly. It’s how you exercise that counts.”
Working with a trainer, he put on lean muscle that raised his metabolism and allowed his body to burn off more calories at rest.
And he noticed something interesting.
The fitter he became, the less he craved the fried pork chops, plantain chips and soda of his youth. Remember what I said about the wonderful efficiency of the body? As his body grew healthier and stronger, so did his food choices.
He strongly urged me to contact his trainer. After I got over myself (my bad experience with personal trainers was documented in my post A Body Is A Terrible Thing To Waste) I set up my first session in August of 2008.
I started on the strength-training program the trainer designed for me. It was around the 6 week mark that I started to feel something I never expected to feel again. Hunger.
I was hungry all the time.
To actually feel my stomach rumbling and experience the weakness of NOT attending to that hunger was frightening to me, but also a huge step forward. Hunger was a sensation I had psychologically dulled for years with my disordered eating habits. So, for the first time since my recovery began, I ate when I was actually hungry.
This. Was. A. Game changer.
I was most ravenous within an hour of my workouts. I found myself craving meat, which was shocking because I had been a vegetarian for 7 years and the thought of animal protein in my mouth used to nauseate me. This hunger and these new cravings were my body’s call to action.
…and not in the way that involves big hair and thrashing one’s body around. No, the heavy metal I’m referring to is that which basic chemistry defines as any metal or metalloid compound in the environment that is cause for concern. This concern is due to its adverse affects on human health and surrounding habitat and not so much on how “heavy” the compound actually is. These metals are EVERYWHERE but their toxic concentrations are the bi-product of human industrialization. For instance, vehicle emissions are the worst for releasing toxic metals into the air. Live near a highway or major metro area and your body is constantly filtering in contaminants including arsenic, cadmium, cobalt, nickel, lead, antimony, vanadium, zinc, platinum, palladium and rhodium. Soil tests along many major roadways in the U.S. indicated that they still retain high levels of lead, despite the phase out of lead in gasoline almost 20 years ago. Fertilizers, paints, treated woods, lead-acid batteries and mining/factory wastes are other sources of contamination. Heavy metals can get in through the air, as noted before, as well as through the water, surface of the skin and the ingestion of plants that have been exposed to contaminated soil and/or water. Also note, the animals that feast on these plants also become a source of exposure to us humans who may dine on them at a later time.
Now, let’s break down how heavy metals negatively affect human health. Certain metals like sodium, potassium, magnesium, calcium, and iron are found in living tissue and are essential to human life; however in high concentrations are toxic. Others, like the aforementioned cadmium, lead and mercury are toxic even in low concentrations. Once the metals are introduced into the body, it’s ultimately the liver’s job to filter out what is not necessary and store what it needs. These metals bind to cellular walls and the metabolically active regions within the cell that not only mess with its structure, but also its function. Short term symptoms of toxicity depend on the individual metal and how much of it has built up in the body. Over the long term, many of these metals cause cells to turn cancerous, warp and destroy parts of the central and peripheral nervous system and also reduce and/or destroy red blood cells which affects our circulatory system.
With some level of exposure being inevitable in our industrialized world, what can we do to mitigate the affects of heavy metals on our health? There is an FDA approved therapy known as chelation which assists the body in cleansing itself of heavy metal deposits. This therapy is administered by a doctor, who will give you a full evaluation and blood screening prior to beginning the treatment. After you have been assessed for levels of heavy metals, etc. you will be administered a binding agent or chelator intravenously along with vitamin C, B complex, Magnesium and specific homeopathics to support the detoxification. Seated in a chair, your session will be about 30-40 minutes. Perusing various sites that describe the treatment it ironically resembles chemotherapy with its grouping of comfortable recliners and patients seated hooked up to I.V.’s. The doctor will recommend a particular amount of sessions before your blood is reevaluated to indicate if more treatments are necessary. It must be noted that some of the chelators used to bind to heavy metals have their own side effects that could be detrimental to health in the long term; however research is being done to find safer and more effective ones.
Before chelation becomes necessary, it is important to assess your environmental and occupational risks. Is your workplace exposing you to toxins? Obviously if you work in a factory or manufacturing plant as well as in a mine or refinery, you will be exposed if you do not follow safety guidelines, which include wearing protective clothing/gear and properly decontaminating through hygienic practices like skin washing. In your daily life, you can use a filtration system to filter your water of heavy metals and contaminants. There are tons on the market now and are very easily available. Read products labels of the cleansers and products you used daily in your home to see if they contain any heavy metals and protect yourself accordingly. Or even better, swap those cleansers for greener choices that are free of these toxins. Also, avoid getting mercury fillings in your teeth as the amalgam releases small amounts of mercury over time into your body. Find out what other filler alternatives are available (and they are) and choose a dentist who has experience in the safe removal of mercury fillings, so you can have them replaced without exposing yourself to further poisoning. And of course, if you live right on top of a factory, plant or major roadway, it might make you want to reconsider your address lest you never open your windows without the aid of an air filter at all times.
The next and probably most important thing is to assess your nutrition to make sure you are sufficient in calcium, iron and zinc. These three elements bind to lead and cadmium preventing its absorption. Note that I mentioned sufficiency and not excess, which would be toxic to the body. In addition, make sure if you are consuming fish oil, that is from mercury free critters of the sea. And the same goes for the consumption of fish. Know which ones have higher levels of mercury (examples: shark, swordfish, king mackerel, tilefish, etc.)and limit yourself to no more than one serving per week, if that. Also Vitamin C and E bind to heavy metals and allow them to be flushed out of the system. Vitamin E consumption in studies with lab mice who had been exposed to heavy metals indicated a boost in anti-oxidant defenses and reduction of tissue damage. Taking it one step further, a combination of Vitamin E and C dosage was administered to workers who had significant levels of heavy metal toxicity. After 6 months, there was such a significant repair and boosting of anti-oxidant defenses that their scans compared to people who had never been exposed at all to such toxins. Other nutrients like Folate, Garlic, Cilantro and Selenium have also shown to reduce levels of heavy metals in the body as well as boost liver health. Go nutrition and the ancient Greeks who believed food to be thy medicine.
In conclusion, if you are curious or believe that you might be at risk for heavy metal toxicity, ask your doctor to order you a blood panel for heavy metals as well as a comprehensive blood count, which tests the health of your kidneys, liver and iron levels in your blood. Dependent on the findings you can make the lifestyle and nutritional modifications necessary to rock your life out for many years to come sans the influence of heavy metals!!
Outside of spa work and my private clientele, I also provide massage at a Wellness Center in midtown. This little den of health offers chiropractic care, massage therapy, holistic health & nutritional counseling and postural exercise. The approach is corrective and the result is a stronger, pain free and more erect version of your former self. In order to understand fully what the corrective approach entails, one must first comprehend what chiropractic care is. Many people hear the term Chiropractorand immediately shudder. Images of having one’s head placed at odd angles for the “cracking” of bones turns the fear-o-meter up high. Worse yet, is the notion of chiropractor as being a fake doctor, sadly due to the gads of crooks that run insurance scams and give the profession its bad rep. I recall being eleven years old and walking past this man in the street with a little skeleton propped on a table advertising a Chiropractor’s office. Five years later, when my mother had a car accident and was advised to get chiropractic adjustment for her case, into that same office we went. During each visit the doctor did the same thing to her back and neck , which left my mother feeling much better than she went in. However, within a few days, the pain and stiffness would return. When she had brought this up to the chiropractor, he told her that she would need chiropractic adjustment for the rest of her life if she wanted to remain pain free. This sounded unfathomable to my mother and once her case was settled out of court, she stopped going.
What that chiropractor told my mother would only be true IF the approach was not corrective. His care consisted of giving people quick fixes for their pain, so they would keep coming back. This is no different than popping a pill. It is not dealing with the root issue(s). The body is comprised of superficial and deep layers of muscle all covered by connective tissue. When a joint is misaligned, say in the vertebrae of your back for example, then the muscles surrounding that joint try to stabilize it and protect its position, even if it causes them to function improperly. They are like the dutiful bodyguards of a volatile criminal – the more they support his activities, the more they plunge themselves toward certain destruction. I know I am making a rather “dramatic” analogy here; however, this is serious stuff. No one should be okay with being in chronic pain and having limitations in their mobility and life activities. When the joint is adjustedwhich is basically giving it a little help to go back into its proper position, not “cracking” as we all like to refer to it, the muscles can let go. Depending on the individual’s condition, the muscles might have a hard time settling into their new normal, which is why massage pre and post adjustment really helps to flood them with the nutrients and support they need to move in their proper way. Take a look at the videos below where both doctors explain the corrective approach and especially the client testimonials, some of which were in dire physical straits when they first came in.
and client testimonial
I’m really lucky to be able to work with this group of medical professionals and it has taught me so much about a comprehensive approach. We all work as a team, consulting one another to find the best way to bring a client/patient’s body back into balance. If you are within the NYC limits and dealing with chronic pain resulting from an injury, lifestyle or some unknown factor, definitely make it a priority to visit the office, where you will get a complimentary spinal screening, along with adjustment and report of findings to let you know what is going on underneath those layers and what your treatment options could be. Everything in its proper place, starting from the inside out.
The American audience has been saturated with advertisements for Pharmaceutical products since the mid-nineties. Whether it’s in print or on the screen, anyone can find a drug to address a multitude of symptoms a la Ray Bradbury’s “Farenheit 451.” Fast forward through the gently spoken side effects and the advice to “consult with your doctor before taking…” and most people presume life will be brighter, happier and glossier when on this drug. Oh, behold how gray propaganda works.
In response to all these scripts is “The Food Hospital,”a program that airs on the BBC’s Channel 4 and The Cooking Channel here in the States. It explores the science behind using food as medicine. Patients with conditions and/or a variety of symptoms come in, are subject to a battery of scientific tests after which a food regimen is prescribed and monitored by its doctors to see if it can effectively treat them. During their follow up visits, patients and doctors meticulously review how the different foods eaten helped them through hematocrits (i.e. blood tests) and feedback, then compare the statistical results from the prescription drug alternatives. Sometimes the patients have already tried all the drugs on the market for their condition, so the comparison is first hand; however more often than not, the food program has the most profound impact sans side effects.
If we think about our history, man has always looked to nature for methods of disease prevention and curing sickness. There are still people in remote tribes using things like tree bark and crushed dung beetles to treat infection. As we cringe and contort our faces in disgust, an incredible thing occurs – the treatments WORK. I should remind you that many new medications being developed in pharmaceutical labs have their roots in botanical and organic sources, sometimes emerging from rainforest and bush treatments. Of course, by the time the medication makes it to market, those sources have been altered and incorporated with a multitude of synthetic agents. Bring on the light colored pill and its numerous side effects. If, however, you knew that changing what you put inside your body could help treat you, which would you gravitate to?
A young woman suffering from debilitating PMS found that incorporating more calcium rich vegetables like broccoli and dark leafy greens into her diet helped to eliminate the severity of her symptoms. Prior to visiting the Food Hospital, her only medical option was taking an anti-depressant. For other conditions, the food prescription is a little more involved. Take, for example, the Portfolio diet, which is a vegetarian diet consisting of a four key cholesterol lowering foods that bring down the levels of LDL, considered the “bad” cholesterol. This “portfolio” consists of soluble fiber, (examples include oatmeal, oat bran, barley, peas, beans, lentils, psyllium, and vegetables such as okra and eggplant) nuts, soy protein and margarine enriched with plant sterols. It can be a challenging diet, but incredibly effective. In fact, its efficacy has been comparable to that of prescription drug Lestatin. Also in that vein of challenging yet effective is theLow FODMAP diet which is prescribed to people suffering from IBS (Irritable Bowl Syndrome). The science behind this diet is that consumption of foods with high levels of fermentable sugars end up creating more liquid and gas in the gut, thus leading to the uncomfortable symptoms experienced by those who have the condition. Foods with low levels of these sugars and especially when eaten in certain combinations and amounts have been found to drastically reduce digestive distress. Since current prescription medications for IBS have varied results and obvious risk factors (think of the recall in 2000 of Lotronexafter some users died as a side effect), it’s sort of a no-brainer to go the route of Px Diet. If you never thought food could have this kind of profound impact on health, then start thinking it NOW. Just note that none of the above diet programs or other ones should be undertaken solo. The script needs to come from a registered dietician and/or doctor’s referral.
October 13th was the 8th anniversary of my recovery from Anorexia. Back on that date in 2004, I broke down on the floor of my bedroom in the middle of the night. I was staring into the demon bowels of the disease that had dictated my life for 3 years. It sucked the air from my lungs. I couldn’t live another day with its crushing pressure. It took me two weeks to leave the confines of a friend’s home (where I had escaped to cocoon myself from reality) and once I did emerge, I felt like I was in some kind of silent film. The world moved slowly, while I felt frenetic. I quit and distanced myself from everything in my life that I had allowed to enable the disease. I went into therapy. I ate a bowl of black eyed peas and rice, my first meal, with trepidation. My stomach; my intestines; my mind slowly came back to life. With belly distended, I proudly proclaimed on whatever social networks existed at that time that I was recovering. I was still very thin, but by the New Year 2005, my consistent eating led my body to “betray” me.
The life preserving shut down of my metabolism was meant to make sure I wouldn’t starve again. I was afraid to eat, but I did anyway. I submitted my food journals to my therapist who approved and told me to eat more. “Variety” she stressed, but I was fixated on foods I felt safe with. I did gratuitous amounts of cardio at odd hours, so no one would stare at my body at the gym. They had known me when I was at my thinnest and I feared their assumption that I was letting myself go. My fears were realized when in the Spring of that year, a trainer approached me and offered to give me a fitness assessment. The masochist in me accepted and after running his various tests, proclaimed to me that I was borderline obese. Oh, the shame that washed over me. For years, that left me with such an acrid taste for personal trainers. He told me to cut out the “junk food” and come see him for sessions at the gym. I was living on tuna fish and pita breads, fueling my workouts with coffee and bee pollen smoothies. I never went back to that gym. In fact I stopped going to any gym. My weight and health habits fluctuated erratically between 2005 and 2008, until a good friend recommended his trainer. I got over myself and the shame I had felt in my previous experience and contacted him. He assessed me through a short circuit of activities and introduced the concept of strength training. He taught me how muscle mass and strength would benefit me in the long run, making my metabolism more efficient and letting my body reshape itself into it’s own “normal.”
The seed he planted germinated when I went back to school for massage. I was hit with Anatomy, Physiology, Neuro and Kinesiology. I never soaked up information with such appetite before. I couldn’t get enough. This knowledge enhanced my workouts and sessions with my trainer because I understood how my body was designed to function. Suddenly, Mr. “Borderline Obese” became the joke that I should have never taken seriously. (Side note here: I saw his picture and name on a real estate placard recently, which clearly shows us he did not have a glowing career in exercise physiology after all). I also returned to therapy with a more cognitive approach to help get to the root of my control issues and take them head on…much like throwing knees and elbows during pad drills. I channeled my emotions into my workouts and learned, often times the hard way, what an art BALANCE is. Now, as a massage therapist, it is so important to foster this healthy sense of bodily awareness within my clients, wherever possible and always when solicited.
So when I was contacted recently by a Fitness/Wellness website for a review of their services, I stepped up to the plate and joined. SlimKicker is a point based program kind of in the vein of Weight Watchers, except that it values activities and nutrition at various levels and creates challenges for its users to foster long term health habits. It also provides a calorie counter, fitness tracker and other resources. There is the community aspect too, as users can post inspirational feed on the homepage, join each other in challenges/groups and “friend” each other for support. The About Us section states that the site is all about learning proper nutrition, portion control, and acquiring important habits. In that vein, upon signing up I was asked for my weight and what my goal was – weight loss or strengthening/toning. Although I chose the fitness oriented option, the pop up that followed was more for weight loss, citing how many calories and percentages I needed to consume in order to achieve my goal. The amount it noted was no where near what I would need to fuel my body and my workouts. To drive this point home, I logged only my exercise habits; not my food intake. If I followed what the site suggested, I would essentially send my body into starvation mode.
It is important to note here that there is a disclaimer in their Terms and Conditions that states the site should notbe used by anyone with any medical or nutritional conditions and that content is for informational purposes only, not meant to replace professional medical advice. Obviously no one with an eating disorder has any business on a site where everything is meticulously logged and counted, but many people without said issues can still have disordered eating habits and cycles of guilt they feel compelled to share via social network. The site’s inspirational feed is 80% laments at having eaten too much of something labeled “bad” either by the user themselves or the nutritional information offered to them by the website (Remember that disclaimer,guys?). Also, there are statements of pride over extra exercises and completed challenges; however these inspirational statements are edged with complaints about weight gain or lack of loss (again, that disclaimer). This is not the site’s fault. They want you to be positive, stay focused and band together for support. Our society is more to blame for fostering this widespread self loathing and depreciation. The hate and guilt are infectious and breed a vicious cycle that will continue so long as we choose to continue “sharing,” despite any health oriented social networks best efforts.
SlimKicker, if used properly, can function as a motivator for adopting a fitness regimen because it holds you accountable for your activities. Much like a TO DO list, if exercise is factored into a week and logged daily, it makes you all the more aware of the need to check it off your list. After doing so for so many times, it will hopefully become a natural part of your daily lifestyle. I’m still not a fan of food logging due to my past; however if you truly don’t know what you have eaten in a day, keeping a food diary can help you track unhealthy patterns like over eating and of course, under eating. My advice is to pay attention to your body’s individual needs and seek out a registered dietician and/or nutritionist if you find the process to be overwhelming.