If you’re reading this post, I’m willing to bet that you were potty-trained a while back, and that no one’s been in the stall with you for at least a few years. And I’m also fairly certain that by now you’re confident in your ability to empty your bladder and bowels. But chances are… you’re getting it wrong. Yes, my friends, there is a way to get it wrong, and this is about more than which way to wipe. So let’s get anatomical on your nether bits.
Think of your bladder as a balloon and your urethra (where the pee comes out) as the stem of the balloon. You also have two urethral sphincters and pelvic floor muscles that can pinch the urethra closed so your urine doesn’t come out. The simplest way to explain it is this: when your bladder starts to fill with urine, the muscular tissue surrounding it (called…
In my family, your sense of worth comes from how hard you work. It doesn’t matter if there is little to no material pay off for this work. Your blood, sweat, and tears are enough of a status symbol to make the neighbors unable to call you the worst of insults in my culture – useless! This work ethic has been passed down through four traceable generations. It’s very much alive in me and that air of purpose shows society that I’m grabbing life by its horns or its balls depending on the situation. However, no family lore ever spoke of burnout.
I’ve mentioned this topic in another post “The Magic Number” where I discussed how too many massages with little self care leads to the need to set a professional limit in order to avoid burnout. Professional burnout is common in any career that involves caring for others. Our nurturing energy can literally be sucked dry if we don’t set up the proper boundaries and limits on “selflessness.” In extreme cases, injury and illness befall the individual who is worn thin. More common features of burnout are irritability, resentment toward those you are giving care to, impatience, and clock watching. This last term is one the awful markers of burnout in massage. This is when a therapist counts down the minutes til the massage they are performing is over. I admit there have been a handful of massages where I dug deep in my psyche to get through it because every minute felt like an hour; however, if I felt like that with every client and therapeutic situation I would be in trouble.
The other evening, I chatted with two colleagues who have been licensed Massage Therapists now for almost a decade. We were discussing our “worth” within the corporate spa setting and one of them made a telling exclamation. Every three years, she is garnering new skills to add on to her hands-on experience. She is spending hundreds if not thousands of dollars to acquire them and keep her license current. She lamented with an ironic laugh how she is getting better in every sense of the word, but has less to show for it each year. In fact, her commission rate straight out of school was 7% higher than it is currently at the ten year mark.
Her lament peaked my curiosity as to what salaries/commissions are like in other corporate owned spa settings. I wanted a comparison. Perhaps it was only this particular spa chain that so profoundly undercut its “talent.” What I learned was pretty disheartening. Granted, my research reflected the New York market; however, we have one of the most arduous and strictest licensing processes in all the country. If anyone deserves a proper salary for their training, it’s New York State licensed massage therapists. Does the corporate spa setting undervalue therapists? YES it does!!!
Before faces lengthen and spirits become disillusioned, it’s important to understand that there are many other options and specializations for a massage therapist. Your worth isn’t determined by one particular spa chain or corporate pay structure. In fact, you can set a rate per massage for your private practice that reflects the skills, continuing education and experience you have amassed. Also many medical settings like chiropractic, physical therapy, and rehabilitation have a need for capable, experienced therapists to support their patients’ treatments. These places will pay sometimes fixed salaries and sometimes per documented massage hour regardless of how many patients you see in a day. The reality that newly minted and seasoned veteran massage therapists have to come to terms with is that you won’t be able to put all your eggs in one basket. Having two or three part time positions in addition to private clientele may be the only way to make a decent living and this reality could/can lead to burnout. Perhaps then this profession is something you can’t do for the long haul. This is what I have started to realize. This is why I made the decision to return to school and pursue a parallel, but different therapeutic career. Perhaps my colleague should do the same. Hearkening back to my family’s legacy, I find that there isn’t any sense in showing the world how much of a hard worker I am when I may end up breaking both my back and my spirit in my effort. It’s time to rewrite the story and choose the gentler path for once; one that eventually will pay off and show the most important person of all, MYSELF, what I’m worth!